Stella by starlight ...

It is often said that we men are incapable of doing two things at once. This strikes me as grossly unfair, patently absurd and obviously untrue, given that few people would question our ability, say, to drink and make fools of ourselves all at the same time. So in that spirit I have decided to do a combination post for TFE's current poetry bus prompt at The People's Lost Republic of EEJit and for willow's Magpie Tales 5.

TFE's instructions were that we had to begin a poem with the memorable lines ...

"She was wearing Stella McCartney,
I was drinking Stella Artois"

... to which he added the helpful information that "If anyone from Mars or Carlow are looking in, Stella McCartney is a fashion designer and daughter of famous ex Beatle, Ringo Starr. Stella Artois is a Belgian medicinal cure for warts and walking straight."

And the Magpie Tales 5 prompt was the 'handy' photo shown above.

So drum roll please ... and here goes — two things at once, neither of them very meaningful on their own, but when combined, completely and utterly useless and irredeemably forgettable.

Maniacal mannequin Belgian beer blues

she was wearing Stella McCartney,
I was drinking Stella Artois
for weeks I would steal away nightly
through mad glass wondering who art thou?

by day she was clad in designer clothes
at night she was my naked nymph to behold
a wave of her hand from where no hair grows
hailing my taxi her body unrobed

yesterday Stella’s head and hands were gone
Venus de Milo with a dinosaur smile
imagine the delight in my love song
when I spotted her hand in the trash pile

her hand beckoned me to blessed wedlock
so I brought her home on the ides of march
to open bottles of Belgian hemlock
happily saved from fashion’s tides of starch

so now we stay at home and drink serene
squeezing the juice of tedium’s lemons
to wash and paint my yellow submarine
the handiest cure for delirium tremens

now I am wearying Stella McCartney
and she is stinking of Stella Artois

Well, I apologize for that and if you think yourselves capable of doing two things at the same time, I encourage you to go visit Magpie Tales 5 here and TFE's poetry bus here and see what other participants have done with these prompts.